a race, have never been free to discover our own true identity. Every
social advance we attempt is thwarted by some maniac who springs up
with almost divine grace to lead us into madness. Saint Paul, for instance,
seems to have taken the real message of Jesus and his earliest followers
and distorted it into something that we kill, lie and cheat for. And,
in spite of all that, we still aspire for redemption of our souls. The
followers of that doctrine - Christians, they call themselves - are
not the only ones who behave in such a manner. Every major religion
has managed to find an excuse in its teachings to destroy non-believing
fellow human beings. A part of me shudders every time I hear of yet
another killing based on 2000-year-old hatreds.
allows us to continue with such atrocities? What influence keeps such
hatred and fears alive? Why are we abductees so afraid to ask for real
help from our own society?
been INVADED - but I do not yet believe that the battle is over. Invasion
with sticks, knives or guns is a human reality, not necessarily a universal
one. There are very sophisticated mechanisms being used in the invasion
of our world. Why should our invaders use pointed sticks against us
when they can get us to sharpen sticks and use them against each other?
We provide them with everything they want from us, and they take none
of the blame for our misery. They just zip around in their wonderful
flying machines, dazzling us with their magical abilities and filling
us with awe at their insight.
be a more successful military campaign than one in which no shot is
(apparently) fired and in which the conquered populace gladly and openly
welcomes their enslavers? We are being programmed mentally and socially
to accept our invaders as saviors, not a conquering force. I truly believe
we are being deceived by smoke, mirrors and sleight-of-three-fingered-hand
movements. Are we going to sell our birthright to some sneaky beings
who appear on our shores in marvelous ships and offer us a few glitzy
asked if I personally knew of harm that has come to anyone at the hands
of, or because of, the aliens. Yes, harm has come. My early youth was
damaged severely by the unconscious knowledge that I was being used
by some non-human agency. It took me 40 years to recognize that the
fears which guided me daily were not of my own making and that the rebellion
I constantly felt was engendered by my contempt for the powerful invisible
agents that forced me to do things that I knew were wrong, even as I
was doing them.
I did not want to marry the person who became my first wife, yet I had
no control over the decision. Before we were married, we were jointly
abducted and subjected to severe programming. The results brought no
happiness to either of us. We both starved for love and companionship,
even though we tried with all our might to find them. My son (now 25)
was also one of their subjects, and is miserable and lost. He is an
artistic person with so many unknowable fears that he is paralyzed.
I know of abductees MURDERED by mutilations (reports of which are suppressed
immediately and completely), by cancers that no physician has ever seen
before, and by madness that has led to suicide. In my opinion, these
acts were not caused by "brothers" of any sort.
I do not
believe that all is lost, however. I have felt a guiding hand that helped
me to discover happiness and inner peace amid all this chaos and misery.
What I have come to understand is that that hand is only there when
I take responsibility for my own happiness and do something about whatever
is bothering me.
left in the hands of the invaders is neither what we need nor what we
want. It is time that we think hard about ourselves and what we have
on this gem of the universe, our home - our planet. There are laws governing
the actions of our invaders, rules guiding their actions and patterns
of behavior we can discover if we will make a concerted effort to discern
them. We humans have something valuable that is desirable to, and usable
by the alien forces acting on us. I feel it is time we take back that
which is ours, that we use all our resources to discover the laws that
govern reality and become the beings that we intrinsically know we are.
I made to the UFO discussion board, much shorter than the above quotes,
with the addition of some commentary of my own, brought about an amazing
flood of correspondence from abductees desperate for more rational information.
I was overwhelmed with the realization that there were so many people
looking for answers, and so much nonsense being propagated.
one of the members of that discussion forwarded my post to a woman named
Eve Lorgen, who had been working on a book titled "The
Love Bite," about the very types of situations described
above by Elton Turner wherein people are "programmed" to marry
the wrong people, and then, because of the religious programming we receive
from infancy, remained in marriages that were quite simply designed to
diminish their capacity to grow as a human being. This is where we encounter
years, as I had read about many instances of "personal growth"
and "self-realization," accompanied by a complete breakdown
and restructuring of the life of the individual, most often including
divorce, the idea nagged at the back of my mind that "if this is
a good thing, how come so many people are getting hurt by it?" Until
I had faced my own realization that "love," as human beings
think of it and try to manifest it, really had nothing to do with real
spiritual love at all, I was stuck in the idea that a manifestation of
enlightenment ought to confer on a person the almost magical ability to
"fix" anything or anybody! If they were married to a monster,
their "enlightenment" ought to enable them to "soothe the
savage beast." If they were in a state of some kind of suffering
for financial or health reasons, their enlightenment ought to show them
the way out and back to physical and fiscal health. And, of course, it
ought to all be accomplished without anybody getting hurt! There should
be no divorce, no breaking of promises and commitments, and most of all,
they ought to all be just dancing around the Maypole and gazing into one
another's eyes in mutual admiration and delight.
time, I already knew that didn't work, and that, in fact, continuing to
support those on the STS pathway only fueled their descent into deeper
STS, drained the energy of the "codependent STO" person so that
they had nothing to share with those who WERE like them, which prevented
the establishment and growth of an STO dynamic, and effectively only continued
to feed and perpetuate STS energy in our lives and our world. But Eve
was now talking about "alien orchestrated human bonding dramas."
In short, she was saying that a lot of what we call "falling in love"
is merely being chemically manipulated for nefarious purposes.
wrote to me and wanted to talk shop. We did, extensively. She described
her work, and her forthcoming
book, and I was very interested to discover that there were some few
- very few - people who had a handle on some of these things, and were
putting some of the pieces of the puzzle together in interesting ways.
A few days
later, seemingly out of the blue, I received the following:
Date sent: Tue, 15 Jun 1999 22:46:02 EDT
Subject: Being a guest on my radio program
is Ron Engelman.
I do a
four hour radio program on the Talk Radio Network from 2-6AM PDT, Monday
through Friday in 29 markets across the country. I have read small portions
of your web site and I would be interested in having you as a guest
on my show. I would be more than happy to allow you to promote any publications
you may have, your web site or any books you have in publication.
forward to hearing from you.
to page 281
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